too lost in you
by Willow1986
Summary: this deals with how the war effected Quatra's life. U need to read to find out what i talking about and i know its a bad summary. Kinda song fic
1. Default Chapter

The slamming of the door echoed through the large twenty room mansion sounding distinctly like a gun shot, and was such an unusual sound that it had Duo and Heero running down from their rooms, guns armed and ready for anything.  
  
But the site that greeted them was anything but the usual.  
  
Slwoly lowering his gun, Duo caustiously made his way over to his friend who was leanning his head againt his large dark mahogany desk and mumbling something, while Heero remained at the door jam alert incase there were any hidden threats.  
  
Bending over, Duo placed a hand on Quatra's back and in a low voice asked "Are you alright, man?"  
  
At the sound of Duo's voice he seemed to catch hold of himself and with a confused air about him looked into Duo's eyes and answered "Sure, why wouldnt it be?"  
  
Backing slowly away, both Heero and Duo put away their guns and were slowly walking back up the stairs when yet again there was another crash only this time it sounded like something breaking.  
  
Rushing back down to the Study door way they stopped and starred in open mouth amazement.  
  
Quatra appeared to be having an argument with himself and in the process was destroying many of his little figurines that decorated the whole study.  
  
Eyes wide in amazement, Duo found himself openly shocked at this behaviour. I mean it wasnt ever day that the calm, fair haired and skinned prince of deserts reacted like this. Of course there was that one time when he was crazy but that was because of the new system that had been installed on his weapon of destruction. But even then it had been a controlled sort of insane, but this, this was unlike anything he had ever seen before. It was almost as if there was sombody alive who can annoy Quatra so much that he would be driven to this but even he knew that such a person couldnt exist. He had tried everything in his power to get him to let go and he knew he was annoying, a fact which all the guys told him at least three times a day.  
  
As Duo found himself lost in who had done this to his friend, Heero's mind was on more pressing matters, like who was this woman Quatra kept on referring to and then cursing.  
  
He flinched again, Last count Quatra had damned her twenty times, a slight twitch of his head and it was twenty one. If he was used to showing his emotions he would have smiled, The site of Quatra breaking stuff with such abandon and cursing beneath his breath and sometimes just out loud "Damn that woman anyway!" was such an unusual and hilarioulsy funny site. It wasnt everyday that you found 'the proper-man' cursing after he had warned all his friends and graduall weaned them off cursing when they got into trouble.  
  
He was brought of his little train of thought as the irate blonde man brushed past him and walked out the door heading towards the little shed at the back were he kept his motorbikes.  
  
As Duo decided to follow him a strong arm came down on his and looking up to the face that the arm belonged to he watched as the kind brown eyes told him to leave his master alone.  
  
Defeated he went upstairs to his bedroom to try and think of some way that he could cheer Quatra up leaving Rashid and Heero behind.  
  
Leaning against the door jam both Heero and Rashid watched as Quatra opened the shed door.  
  
Out of the corner of his mouth, his lipes barely moving, Heero asked "Who or what did this to him?"  
  
Sighing heavily, Rashid answered "Miss Mina Winner, His on/off girlfriend. I shouldnt really be even telling you this but i know that you can be trusted.   
  
Depending on his mood they are either girlfriend and boyfriend or not. If he is autocratic then she rebels and breaks it off with him and if not well then they are so in love with one another it would make a grown man sick."  
  
Rashid could swear that he knew what the next question was going to be and so pressing away from the wall he said "It dosent always show but Quatra has a stubborn streak a mile wide. It only seems to appear when he is with Mina. And Mina although the kindest ,gentliest person in the whole world does not take kindly to being given orders."  
  
Privatly, Rashid thought that they needed to learn to compromise but then again who was he to talk about relathionships. Divorced and widowed wasnt really a good combination.  
  
What really got him was before the war they had been about to announce their engagement but ever since Quatra had returned, he had noticed a different Mina. One who Quatra apparently didnt know and didnt want to know about, She now wanted to sing and openminded thought he was, he did not want her face shown through out the universe, To have men ogglying his wife. And so he had said now to her request and here they were, Quatra once again unattached and hating it.  
  
Turning his back on Heero he began to walk away, but stopped and said "He needs to work this out on his own.!" before actually going.  
  
Laying one last look at he garage where he could see Quatra working he sent up a silent prayer asking for help for his friend before going back up to his room to clean his guns.  
  
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Placing a hand on her stomach, Mina could swear she cold feel a whole bunch of butterfly's swarming around there. She knew this was what she wanted to do with her life, it had always been there but lately she had begun to wonder, Was this all she was going to be? Some singer that although famous and had louds of money had no real happiness.  
  
As her name was called out, she gathered herself together and walked onto the stage were her back up band had already set up.  
  
Raising a nervous hand to Rei who played the keyboard, she prepared herself by silently counting back in her head the number of times she and Quatra had argued.  
  
As the curtains slowly raised, she became a more open vivacious woman and she knew that tonight she was going to be noticed by all the record companies.  
  
Walking up to the mike, she took a quick sweep around the room and could feel her shoulders slump in sadness as she found no Quatra there. She guessed it was to much to wish that he would support her dream.  
  
Slowly the haunting melodic music came in and stepping up to the mike, hand wrapping gently around the stand, she began to sing.  
  
You look into my eyes   
  
I go out of my mind   
  
I can't see anything   
  
Cos this love's got me blind   
  
I can't help myself   
  
I can't break the spell   
  
I can't even try   
  
I'm in over my head   
  
You got under skin   
  
I got no strength at all   
  
In the state that I'm in   
  
And my knees are weak   
  
And my mouth can't speak   
  
Fell too far this time   
  
Going trough her mind, all the times Quatra had made sure she did what he wanted, never consulting her on any decisions in his life.  
  
She had felt so alone, like she didnt really belong in his life, she had no important role to play.  
  
But as the band started singing the chorus along with her, she knew she had finally found a place that she belonged, even if it wasnt with the man that she loved.  
  
[Chorus:]   
  
Baby, I'm too lost in you   
  
Caught in you   
  
Lost in everything about you   
  
So deep, I can't sleep   
  
I can't think   
  
I just think about the things that you do (you do)   
  
I'm too lost in you   
  
(Too lost in you)   
  
They had all suffered for their love and it was one of the reasons this song had come around. They had needed to get rid of the pain before they went on in their lives.  
  
ooh   
  
Well you whispered to me   
  
And I shiver inside   
  
You undo me and move me   
  
In ways undefined   
  
And you're all I see   
  
And you're all I need   
  
Help me baby (help me baby)   
  
Help me baby (help me now)   
  
Cos I'm slipping away   
  
Like the sand to the tide   
  
Falling into your arms   
  
Falling into your eyes   
  
If you get too near   
  
I might disappear   
  
I might lose my mind   
  
Life was a mystery to them all, but they knew that it wasnt their destiny to just take back seats in men's lives. They were meant for more then that. And even though they were breaking inside, they still had their pride.  
  
[Chorus:]   
  
Baby, I'm too lost in you   
  
Caught in you   
  
Lost in everything about you   
  
So deep, I can't sleep   
  
I can't think   
  
I just think about the things that you do (you do)   
  
I'm too lost in you   
  
(Too lost in you)   
  
I'm going in crazy in love for you baby   
  
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)   
  
I'm going down like a stone in the sea   
  
Yeah, no one can mess with me   
  
(No one can mess with me)   
  
Oooh, my baby   
  
Oooh, baby, baby   
  
[Chorus:]   
  
Baby, I'm too lost in you   
  
Caught in you   
  
Lost in everything about you   
  
So deep, I can't sleep   
  
I can't think   
  
I just think about the things that you do (you do)   
  
I'm too lost in you   
  
I'm lost in you   
  
I'm lost in you   
  
I'm lost in everything about you   
  
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep   
  
I can't think   
  
I just think about the things that you do (you do)   
  
I'm too lost in you   
  
(Too lost in you)  
  
Caught up in her own thoughts, she didnt realise the song had ended till she felt the hands slapping her back in praise.  
  
Helped of the stage by a tall well dressed business man, she knew that he was their future.  
  
Saying no to his offer of a drink for them all, they got down to business.  
  
Not fiftenn meters away at the front doors to the club, Quatra stood watching in the shadows, touched by the song and the feelings that had gone into it.  
  
He had come there with the express purpose of conviincing her that he was her future and not some silly singing career but now he didn't know.  
  
Mina had more talent then he had seen in along time, and he recognised the man that she was talking to as one of the representatives of the top music signing companies in the universe.  
  
Watching her now from a distance, he knew she was in her element and he couldn't force her to do anything.  
  
The song had thrown some new light on his character and he wasnt sure he like what it had shown.  
  
Tears in his eyes, he slowly whispered a sorry good bye before leaving as silently as he had come into the club.  
  
The hair on the back of Mina's neck stood on end, and she turned to see what was causing it.  
  
She caught a brief glimpse of someone, a tall blonde guy she thought, leaving the club and a thought suddenly occurred to her.  
  
"Quatra?" whispered by her lips.  
  
Rising to see if it was him, she was pulled back down by the manager and thrown back into the converstaion and were she wanted the band to go.  
  
After she finished that night, she decided to go and check on Quatra's mansion to see if their master had been out that night.  
  
Pulling up ten minutes later, she exited the taxi leaving orders to remain there until she got back.  
  
Walking slowly up to the door, tears began to slowly leak from her eyes.  
  
The mansion had been closed down and they had left no forwarding address.  
  
She was truly on her own, now.  
  
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Review...  
  
sad i know but i loved the song...its by an english band called the sugarbabes and my god its good...  
  
tell me what u think anyway..  
  
laters   
  
willow1986 


	2. chapter 2

"I repeat the heir to the Winner fortune has just crashed and is in critical condition in hospital. Doctors fear for the worst. In other breaking news...."  
  
As soon as Mina heard that they had no more information on Quatra she turned of her radio and picked up the phone that always lay beside her in her car.  
  
Dialing a number that she knew of by heart she pressed the phone into the speakers while it rang, keeping a firm eye on the road.  
  
"Setsuna Miouh.What's the problem, Mina?"  
  
She could feel herself smiling at the age old greeting. Setsuna had been her friend and confident for so long that she could not imgine her life without her, until she remembered why she had called.  
  
"I need to know were they are keeping Quatra Rebarbra Winner and i need the information yesterday!"  
  
Straight away, Setsuna answered "east memborial hospital, upper city, dublin in ireland."  
  
No even questioning how Setsuna knew this information she thanked her and hung up the phone.  
  
She was heading for Ireland Because like it or not, Quatra was going to survive this because they had a few things to say to each other and they were not going to remain unsaid as of now.  
  
She had a succesful career as a musician but she had always regreted that they could not have worked things out with her one and only.  
  
Five years had passed and still she thought of him, saved herself for him and it was only through the intervention of one of her sister artists that she realised that the love they had shared deserved a second chance.  
  
Alot could happen in that relatively small time frame.  
  
One of her best friends, Makoto haad found love, gotten married and then lost her husband in the wars. He was never recovered, and Lita still mourned his death. Mina privatly thought that Lita held hope that he was still alive, and had just lost his memory.  
  
Her friends had all suffered for the war, and if it was one thing they had taught each other it was that nothing was forever. And to embrace everything in its time, because it may not be there tomorrow.  
  
Hugging her positive energy to herself that Quatra would survive, she thought of him as she had last saw him, at the fight at his house over her career choice. She had so nearly given in then. Pushing that thought away, she took a deep breath and letting it out slowly sent all of her good energry to him in the hope that it would aid his healing.  
  
A good friend had once told her that it actually would work if you prayed for it enough, and because of her belief in the ancient art, she had won the respect of many of her contemperies as well as the love and the respect of her partner.   
  
Which was another thing. Rei, the friend who had taught her many relaxing methods and had shown her the good side of spirtuality didn't believe in what she believed was one of the most beautiful ceremonies around...Marriage.  
  
And if that wasn't bad enough, she had her partner propose to her six times and still he stayed with her. Shaking her head in apparent confusion, she sighed. Some women just had all the luck.  
  
Pulling up to an empty space in the airport car park, she grabbed a ticket and ran inside..avoiding the pedesterian hustle by using the first class entrance.  
  
Soon, she was on her way to Quatra.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Shaking his head side to side, in an agony of pain..Quatra unknowlingly tried to pull out the drips and needles that were stuck in him...essentially all the things that were at the moment keeping him alive.  
  
Sighing, his small breath full of love and the pain that this had to happen..Trowa got up from his seat beside Quatra's bed and calmed him down.  
  
As he was slowly fixing the pillow behind Quatra's head, He nearly jumped back in surprise.  
  
Quatra's eyes were open wide and he appeared to be un a trance.  
  
Waving a hand in front of his face to see if he was actually conscious, Trowa wasnt surprised when Quatra did nothing.  
  
However he did notice that Quatra's lips had begun to move, almost mumbling something.  
  
Bending over he listened intently and after five minutes of intense concentration, he realised that Quatra was repeating the same name over and over again in an almost litany of prayers.  
  
"Mina, Mina, Mina!" Until with one final mumble he dropped back against the pillow and began to snore loudly.  
  
Looking on amazement, Trowa pressed the button that would alert the doctors to the change from coma to simply unconscious.  
  
Even as the doctors examined him, Trowa was haunted by what Quatra had said in his trance like state.  
  
And why did he know that Mina meant Minako in japanese...and an even greater mystery was why that name seemed so familiar to him or was it just another mystery of his life before the wars.   
  
He had been found in a bomb hit building and was one of the ten survivors but as the others had major injuries he seemed to have only minor along with a severe case of total amnesia.  
  
The doctors who had been good enough to give him shelter in the hospital hadn't been able to find anything either.  
  
This day was getting stranger and stranger.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
willow1986  
  
enjoy 


	3. chapter 3

Trowa could feel his spirits drop as the doctors told him that Quatra had not actually come out of a coma but had in fact just displayed a common occurrence in coma patients. It had given many grieving friends and family false hope.

The snoring was later attributed to a sinus problem.

Two days after this happened; Trowa turned his attention away from his friend and his persona vigilance of Quatra in case he woke up, and for some reason looked up at the doorway to be greeted by a sight that literally took his breath away.

A window behind her blocked out most of her facial feature as the sun shone high in the sky behind her.

But what he could see he liked. She was defiantly a statuesque woman, with a subtle muscular build in a short white skirt with tanned knee high suede boots and an off the shoulder pale green jumper which only seemed to emphasise her smooth peaches and cream complexion but as she stepped inside and the light at last stopped blurring out her face he could feel his muscles clench. He didn't recognise the woman personally but he had seen pictures of her.

He had seen them once in Quatra's Gundam during the war, and it was only by accident that he had seen them surprising Quatra just before they were deployed.

But even then it was clear how much Quatra had cared for the girl, no he corrected himself silently, the woman who stood before him.

Maybe she would be the one that would bring him back to this world.

Wordlessly getting of the chair he gestured and she sat down in his place instantly putting her hand up to his face to brush a stray hair back from his face.

When Quatra twitched slightly and then settled back a seemly happy expression on his face, Trowa knew he had made the right choice.

Rei quickly read over the fax from Mina and then turning to the second page began to read.

It's happening again, she thought. The lyrics where insightful, emotional and so so….worrying.

Rei had been friends with Mina for so long, she knew Mina when she was with the love of her life, when he broke her heart repeatedly and then compounded it by saying they would compromise but wanted the compromise to be all of her doing.

Picking the sheet up she photocopied it and then faxed more copies to the rest of the guys and girls in the band and picking up her copy went into her bedroom.

Climbing the stairs that she needed to actually reach the mattress of her bed, she sat on the bed with her back against the pillows and putting a hand out grabbed the paper from the hands of the guy already up there, shoving the sheet of paper into there hands, gesturing to read it when they sent an annoyed look there way.

Grabbing his muscular arm, she pulled it around her and snuggled into his side, as she re read the words, silently mouthing them alongside him.

_**You used to captivate me **_

_**By your resonating light**_

_**But now I'm bound by the life you left behind**_

_**Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams**_

_**Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me**_

_**These wounds won't seem to heal **_

_**The pain is just to real there's just too much that time cannot erase**_

_**When u cried I wiped away all of your tears **_

_**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears **_

_**And I've held your hand through al of these tears **_

_**But you still have all of me **_

_**I've tired so hard to tell myself that you're gone**_

_**And though you're still with me**_

_**I've been alone all along.**_

When he looked down at her, she could see the emotion on his face. "This is Mina's work?"

At her nod, he smiled sadly "I didn't know she had it in her. She's good but this... this is amazing."

Rei smiled sadly alongside him "yeah it is, and she's always been brilliant. Her songs reflect her emotions," she paused studying the sheet silently for a few minutes, the time ticking by on the ornamental clock in the living room, the only clock in the whole house.

"But the problem is the only time she's ever written stuff like this is when she was with him," she didn't need to explain who he was to her other half. It had been spoken often enough in the last few years in front of him but never in front of Mina, her friends already knowing his name was never to be spoken in her company so before they had actually met they had gotten into the habit of just calling the guy who had Hurt her, him, heavy emphasis on the cursing side

(Okay if anyone as ever seen cybil, think of whenever she an Mary Ann say Dick and you will have it down perfectly)

"And if she's with him again, then we're in so much trouble."

Trowa stepped away from the coffee machine and took a sip of the regimental coffee that seemed to be the same in every hospital and institute he had ever visited.

It was horrible, and with a grimace he almost shoved it away from him but as a yawn over took him he sighed. Sometimes you had to take the bad situation in place of the worst situation and be happy with it.

Swallowing the coffee he managed to choke it down, after all, it was better that he stay awake then fall asleep and miss something important happening with Quatra. He hadn't slept in two days, every since the accident, he had come back from his mission and had flown straight to the hospital to be at his best friends side.

But admitting to himself that he didn't feel well was taking a lot out of him. He had never even had a cold in his whole life, but he knew that the way he was feeling now was not due to lack of sleep and had more to do with the gases he had been exposed to on his last mission.

Walking back to Quatra's room, he suddenly felt himself getting light headed and falling against the wall he slowly slid down the smooth white wall, resting his head between his legs to get his bearings.

He breathed shallowly and for a few minutes it made him feel better, until a pair of shoes stopped in front of him. He would recognise those shoes anywhere, those were the ones nurses wore, and as he looked up the tempting expanse of white tight enclosed legs, past the white edge of the uniform and into the compassionate green eyes of the nurse, he smiled a tad dopily, and said the first thing that came into his mind, not even being aware he was saying it, "I don't feel so well, my angel. You here to escort me to the wrong side?" before falling limply against the ground in an untidy heap.

Lita looked down and grimaced. It looked like another drunk had gotten into the hospital again. Calling security, she walked back over to him and bending down to make sure he was still alive breathed in deeply in shock. He was burning up.

Paging the doctor on call, she ordered some orderlies to bring him to a room and hoped she hadn't been to late in getting him checked.

Okay people, that's all for now.. Review and all that..

Laters

Willow1986


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